Okay, that’s a question I seldom ask myself. I write mystery (mostly) taking place in the current time, and in the country where my books are sold. I don’t have any characters speaking a foreign language.
Other books, often ones I read, are set in past centuries or other countries. They might have a list of names, or words that are unfamiliar. That’s handy. There are other instances that necessitate word lists—often involving unusual occupations, or even hobbies. But cozy, or almost cozy mysteries? Most readers know enough of the words used to describe recipes, needlework, antiques, pets, and the various occupations of our favorite amateur sleuths.
Now, back to my question. One of my mysteries involves boating. The following is a paragraph that may have non-boaters thinking I must have missed a few grammar lessons in elementary school.
“The coiled anchor rode smelled musty, even though it was completely dry. Little colored plastic tags lay, woven into the fiber to measure off the feet as the line payed out. Would I have to remove all that line to see if there was anything underneath? Not tonight. Too much trouble. I flashed around the interior one last time. There was a small piece of paper stuck low, under a few coils of the rope. I pulled it out.”
Did I misspell something? I checked a boating site from the Great Lakes. This is a sentence describing how to anchor a boat. “When all the rode has been payed out, gently back down on the anchor to set it in the bottom.”
RODE — anchor chain or line (rope) that attaches the anchor to the boat
TO PAY OUT, or PAYED OUT — to allow the rode to uncoil and leave the anchor locker so the anchor is lowered
Or, is that just too much? Personally, I think so. I don’t mind reading a book with a few things I have to infer from context. What do you think?
Gene Roddenberry had the right approach in Star Trek. The characters just use their hi-tech equipment and don’t stop to explain it. People use jargon all the time and to “dumb it down” insults the reader. Jargon adds realism to a story. Of course there’s always too much (like many police stories) but a little bit adds flavor.
Great question — as we know, each hobby or profession has their own vocab. I am in the process of “dummying down” a manuscript written by a very intelligent client that can loose a listener after about eight words of so. This being said, an agent told me I had to change his deep but beautiful language so john q public would understand what he was writing.
So, my suggestion is to rewrite the word, phrase, or sentence so the meaning is understood by the reader.
I was thrown by the word “rode” and phrase “pay out”. Even using context really didn’t make me feel certain I understood because the “context” was common knowledge to me.
Sally & Steve, what to do, what to do?
I’d say run a WIP pass some beta readers. If they’re confused by the lingo then you have time to change it before going in print.
I’m a former sailor, yet I’d never heard the word “rode” used, so that one might be confusing, particularly because in both spelling and context, it could seem as if “rope” was the intended word. You might have used chain instead. However, I’ve been familiar with the expression, “payed out” for as long as I can recall, and it doesn’t seem to need explanation, particularly in your context.
My books are set in a hospital, so I use medical terms, but so far, in the first book to be released, no reviewer has commented on vocabulary. I do listen to my editor and proofreaders, and if any word or term is unclear, whether medical or otherwise, I attempt to make sure the reader isn’t frustrated by it.
Possibly “rode” is used in some areas more than others. For medical terms, readers might figure if a doctor is using an unfamiliar word, he or she is using it properly. If we needed to know too, it would be explained. So, that’s another way to go with sailing terms too.
Here’s another idea. Start each chapter with a quick quote or ditty and two of those could cover definitions for rode and payed out. I’ve heard payed out commonly but not rode in the context of rope. But I’m from Florida.
IMHO, if it’s not clear to the reader it should be rewritten. Tripping over a word or phrasing, then stopping to look it up takes the reader out of the story. A reader might do this once, but more than that runs the risk of the author putting the book down. Putting in every definition about boating, whether correct or not, could possibly be considered an author showing off.